madeupmonkeyshit:

Bae: wanna get something to eat?

Me: I’m broke shawd

Bae: it’s okay I got you

Me:

image

kiransingh:

the only domestic instinct my parents have managed to pass on to me is the tendency to hoard multiple plastic bags in another plastic bags despite the fact that I will probably never need this many plastic bags in my adult life

relahvant:

majestic

thefrogman:‘They have learned that the lady at the ferry ticket booth occasionally has treats’ [reddit]

thefrogman:

‘They have learned that the lady at the ferry ticket booth occasionally has treats’ [reddit]

342

white-nose-hoez replied to your post: “i have to go to the collard festival tomorrow for a field trip and i…”:

work @ the oakwood school so i can just come to your classroom instead of go to class and we can shit talk people

I WISH omg that would be perfect

halfstoned:

pity whoever marries me or whatever because I can’t cook and all I will ever want to do is lay in bed and kiss you

"Your eyebrows are sisters, not twins."
The most comforting beauty advice I’ve ever been given. (via cinniie)